Sam Witwicky: Bee, I want to talk to you about the college thing, okay?
Bumblebee: [does a dance] "I'm so excited, / And I just can't hide it..."
Sam Witwicky: Hey! I'm not taking you with me!
[Bumblebee is downcast]
Mikaela Banes: I'm gonna wait outside...
[goes outside and starts to strip]
Sam Witwicky: Bumblebee, just hear me out okay. You know freshmen aren't allowed to have cars, that's all it is. It is best for both of us. I know it doesn't sound like it but... you're an Autobot, you shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean you're suffocating in here. Hey will you look at me please? Hey, come on big guy...
Judy Witwicky: Oh yes Professor, I'll do ANYTHING to get an A! [laughs lunatic-ally] Woooo! I'm upside down!
Jetfire: Itchy wretched rust in my aft...!
[scratches himself]
Sam Witwicky: Something happened to me!
Mikaela Banes: you finally reached puberty?
Wheelie: This place is a freakin' House of Horrors.
Wheelie: Is that the best you got, huh? Is that best you can do?
Mikaela Banes: What are you doing here, you little freak?
[Mikeala burns his left eye off with a soldering iron]
Wheelie: That's my eye, you crazy bitch! Easy warrior goddess, I'm just a little salvage scrap drone.
Mikaela Banes: Then I'm your worst nightmare.
Sam Witwicky: You're training him?
Mikaela Banes: I'm trying. [Opens box and Wheelie jumps out. She grabs hold of a metal chain and holds him, threatening him with a table torch]
Agent Simmons: My God. Robots are destroying the world out there and you people carry one in your purse like a Chihuahua.
Wheelie: I change sides. Oh warrior goddess
[Sam looks at Mikaela]
Wheelie: Whose your autobot huh? [Starts humping on Mikaela's leg]
Sam Witwicky: What's that thing he's doing to your leg huh?
Mikaela Banes: At least he's loyal
Jetfire: I'm too old for this
Agent Simmons: Just one man. One man, betrayed by his very own country.
Agent Simmons: Just one man -
Leo: You're not alone!! I'm with you in the car! I'm right next to you!
Agent Simmons: - One man, betrayed by his very own country.
The movie, was INSANELY HILARIOUS. Plus, it has action too! WOOOO. Major noisy, so don't sit TOO close to the walls, or the front. And it's a wide-screen movie, so at least sit 4-5 rows from the front. AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.