There's something wrong with me

It's been a while since I actually posted something really emotional up here.
My heart feels like it's been torn into two.

Stuck in between innocence and guilt.
Stuck in between the urge to stand up for myself, to scream and shout, and just sitting there.
Stuck in between keeping things as they are to prevent them from getting worse, and just blowing things up.

I tell myself I need to fight back. People tell me I need to fight back and stand up for myself.

I sound so bloody pathetic right now. I have to say, my mother was right when she said I'm only strong on the outside but I'm weak on the inside.
I have a weak soul, yes.
I envy people's inner strength when they get through all these challenges and troubles in their lives.
Sure they come out scratched and scarred.
And although I don't mind that physically, I fear it if the thorns damage my heart.
At the moment, I feel like they've pierced it, and hooked onto the skin of my heart.
And if I were to try and pull it out, it'll cause more damage than there already is.

I'm still a little girl.
Weak.
Timid.
Small.

I can't stand up for myself.
I wait till the day when she's weak. Then I'll stand up for myself.
I see me repeating the relationship between my mother and her own mother.
I guess it's a never-ending chain.

Which is why when I become a mother, I don't want to become a mother like mine.

There's something wrong with me.
I run away from my problems.
I withdraw into myself because I fear too much.
I may not look like I fear things, but a lot more things scare me more than it seems.

People find is as a shock when they see me break down.
I'm not surprised. Because they've always thought I'm strong.
I'm such a disappointment to people. I help them solve their problems but I can't even solve my own.
Isn't that how it works? The clown makes depressed people happy, but he's the saddest person in the world.

I'm drowning in my own fear.
Help.

Party Night

Sure I have work to do and I still have not submitted my University application yet...

But I needed a break. And I got it.
At Loof for Richard's 18th birthday :)
Just a couple of puffs and a couple of sips = bliss

With Khush :)

And I made it home before 12. Ain't I awesome? :P
And still completely sober...... maybe a lil high :P But just a lil bit.... hehe

Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without.

My mom.

Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Talking.

I can't live without talking.
Like, NO KIDDING.

Researching for a presentation, I came to school and did not speak for a day.
It was to record the sort of reactions people gave me.
And also how I adapted to all the weird reactions people gave me.

And by the time I was home, I was suffering.
I listened to music and I had SUCH A FRIGGIN HUGE URGE to start singing.
But I couldn't coz I had to complete my research and not speak for a full day.
Lol...

It came to the point where when I woke up the next morning, I had to remind myself that I CAN talk.
And I started breathing out through my throat first before I started talking to myself to reassure myself that I CAN talk. hahaha

Yeah... I can't live without talking. I need my voice.


I love my voice.



Oh ego...

Day 14 - A hero that has let you down (letter).

I never had one :)
So I'll pass on this topic hehe

Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Green Day,

Thank you for your American Idiot album.
Without it, I would never have gotten through my 13th year alive.

It was a really chaotic year and a lot of things happened to me.
I was crying every other day.
Mother wasn't being all reasonable at home.
Friends were accusing me of things and I lost a couple of close ones and gained a group of enemies.

If it weren't for your song "Give Me Novocaine" that encouraged me to be numb to all the problems going on, I'd have run away from home already.

So thank you Green Day for that really awesome album.
The songs mean a lot to me.



Yours truly,
Lovely Taidy

Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on.

I have no idea really.

Well I suppose....
hmmm...

Actually I don't know.
Well I guess I never get compliments on my negative traits.
haha That much is obvious duh lol.



This is a very short post. XD

Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

There comes a time when people used to compliment me on my artistic talent.
And now that i'm not taking art in UWC, no one says that anymore. And my art skills have all gone down the drain, out of practice.

Then there's a small portion of people who say that I have a good sense of humour.

And then there's another group of people who say I think out of the box.
I'm a lateral thinker.
A unique thinker.

And I guess that's about it.
I'm not a person that gets complimented a lot.
Just a normal person I suppose :)

Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

It's someone I need to let go.
It's been 8 months.
It's someone I must let go.
We had good times.
But fate was against us.
Thank you for the weeks we had.
The hours.
The minutes.
The precious seconds.
Time has moved on.
Pictures are washed away.
My body has moved on.
My mind has forgotten.
My heart has been mended and given.
I must let go.
I know I didn't do this
But I must say, I'm sorry, Josiah.

Day 9 - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I'd say, this didn't happen to just one person, but quite a number.

Firstly, there's the people from STC. Ever since I moved out of that school before the O levels, I haven't spoken much to any of them.
I remember drifting away from Phoebe. She was my so-called best friend in Sec 1. But then again that was a chaotic year so never mind.

There are also people from my really old school back in Indo.
Although this friend's family also moved to Singapore, and became my neighbour for a while, we drifted. Somehow, our families just drifted apart. Partly because my mother lost contact with my friend's mother. And his family had some issue... so... yeah...

But then again, with all these years, although I've lost some friends, I've gained more. Just look at where I'm now :) UWC is a great place and filled with great people :)

Day 8 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

My mother.



Enough said.

Day 7 - Someone who has made your life worth living for

God has shown me just how fucked up my life was. And He brought me through it. From this experience, I've come out stronger and tougher than ever before. And it's only that I've just realized it. I'm bulletproof. I thought I'd be a basketcase but I guess, no. I did not shed a tear and I'm glad about it. I love God. :)

School

Extended Essay day! I did my essay on "The Kite Runner" and "1984." I had a kite with me on that day but I placed it on another table so it's not in this picture haha

Same day. This was our Korean UN Night technical rehearsals :D He was so glad I was wearing a hanbok hahaha I looked so Korean people couldn't even recognize me lol mmm

Day 6 - Something you hope you never have to do

Wow... Umm... I hope I never have to murder her to prove my point.

Sometimes I just have this urge to storm into the kitchen, grab the first knife I see and just stab that woman with it. Yes this is NOT healthy. I know. But you have no idea how much I'm enduring every day at home. Every second of my life within these walls that I call a prison.

Which is why I don't like to stay at home. I'd rather go out and study than stay home. Because at home, anything can come up. Anything can happen. Anything can arise. And problems will explode in my face like a bomb.

Sigh... People tell me I should express my emotions, tell her how I feel, either by talking to her or writing her a note. Well if I do either of those things, I have to do it in English. And her English isn't very good, and she'll end up not understanding 70% of what I'm trying to say. Frustrating eh? She doesn't even know what "expert" means. Like, whut?

Oh well.

Day 5 - Something you hope to do in your life

Hmm... Over the 17+ years of my life, there have been many things I've wanted to do in my life.

Be famous. Be famous. Be famous. Live life to the fullest. Kill myself. Live. Love. Sing. Dance. Steal things. (If you get my joke here haha) Get married. Have a job. Have a family. Kill someone. Go to prison just to escape my life. Give birth to a kid before the end of the world...

Well... I've lived. I've loved. I've sung. I've dance. And I've stolen things.

The rest may or may not come in the future.

But overall, something I hope to do, is to be someone that people will remember. Well, I guess that isn't too hard due to the name that I am born with. But in terms of personality, I want to be remembered. And so far, only my closest friends would truly know who I am. There are even other close friends who say they are close but they don't even know me well. And sometimes, they are still finding out new things about me that they've never known before.

Live is short. I want to live it and live it well.

At times, religion no longer matters to me anymore because I have been that tied down to the materialistic views of humanity on earth. And yet I know that after death, there will be new life and something more. A place with no sadness and no tears...

Sigh...

At times I wish that time will come soon. And yet sometimes I wish I have more time on earth...

Day 4 - Something you have to forgive someone for

When I first read this, the first person I thought of was Christopher.

I have to forgive him for breaking my heart 2 summers ago, and HOW he broke my heart.

And he probably has a good reason for doing so, but thinks that it's a stupid reason to me. Mmm... evidence is that he NEVER talks about me. He says that I'm part of his past and he only focuses on the "now." And he never told anyone about us, or the breakup, or what actually happened.

I wonder what he thinks about it though.

He tells me he's turned over a new leaf. Oh well. I won't be able to know.

Sigh...

Then again, we've both moved on. So yeah, that's good I suppose.

But I'll never be that close to him ever again. I can read him too well.

Day 3 - Something you have to forgive yourself for

I don't get this question... I've never understood what it means to forgive myself for something. What can I forgive myself for? Polluting my mind since I was in kindergarten?

I'm suddenly thinking of the song "Love For A Child" by Jason Mraz. And I can associate myself with that song...

"There's a picture on my kitchen wall

Looks like Jesus and his friends involved

There's a party getting started in the yard

There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive

Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

And by the pool that night, apparently

The chemicals weren't mixed properly

You hit your head and then forgot your name

And you woke up at the bottom by the drain

And now your altitude and your memory's a shame

So, what about taking this empty cup and filling it up

With a little bit more of innocence

I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young

It's okay to be easily ignored

I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles

Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass

Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around

Well I'm far too old to care about that now

So, what about taking this empty cup and filling it up

With a little bit more of innocence

I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young

It's okay to be easily ignored

I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce

I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes

And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age

Oh but they never check to see my grades

What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up

With a little bit more of some innocence

I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young

It's okay to be easily ignored

I'd love to believe it was all about love for a child

It was all about love..."

I need for forgive myself for the lack of innocence since I was young. And due to that, I have done many things in my life that I shouldn't be doing at my age... But of course, in this new age, it's all normal. There are people who are younger than I am who do worse things. It's life... it's society...

Day 2 - Something you love about yourself

Where do I even begin? NOWHERE! Because I just can't imagine a part of me that I love... What is it that I love?

I don't know! Have I been that self-less as to not love myself? Or as my mother puts it, vanity in a good way.

Sigh... Well, I suppose that it's the ability to see in everyone's perspectives... Hmm... Yeah... I guess that's it. You know how people say that you need to step into someone's shoes to understand them. Well, I for a fact can do that quite easily. Of course, once in a while I find someone whom I just don't even bother understanding and I just let the feelings of hatred wash over me.

lol

But hey, if I do try to get to know that person, I will try to see from his/her perspective.

I try to see from my mother's perspective too. But sometimes, it's just so hard to understand why she thinks a certain way. Sometimes I think she could be too conservative to the point where it is just INSANE! Very rash and unreasonable. But then I suppose it's because of her upbringing, her tight hold on religion, and not wanting us to make the same mistakes she did. Sigh... Sometimes I try to find the excuse that the reason why I am like this is because of her. It's in the genetics I tell you. It's aaaall in the genes.

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself

Something I hate about myself? Well, there are several ways of looking at that.

Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? I can list out so many things that I hate about myself... I'll probably just choose 1 from each of these three I suppose...

Physically...

This is obvious. Acne.

Acne, the thing that invades the skin of teenagers like a bloody parasite. Growing into their skin, making it swell and redden... I hate my acne :( And thanks to them, I have scars on my faces and down my back. Oh great =.= Why did I have to receive my father's genes of oily skin? :( Sigh...

Mentally...

Well, I guess I am an insecure person. And I get worried about hurting other people or whatever and I end up feeling like shit afterwards but I yet I don't dare to do anything.

And then there's the problem with me bringing up things in the past. Sometimes when I have too much time to think, I think too much. And I think of past situations where I wish I could change so that it won't turn out so bad. I wish I'd avoid my mistakes or whatever...

Spiritually...

Hmmm... I guess I've ben weakened in this area by A LOT. I just can't seem to care about anything anymore. I don't give a shit. This isn't good. Because I never thought this would actually happen to me and that I'd become.... THIS. I know I shouldn't be tempted and yet I am. I hate myself for this. And yet at the same time I don't care.

Sigh... Oh, it's just my life. Not yours.

A List

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Choir @_@

This is the song that my church choir is practicing now... we're not even halfway through yet omg. The video below is good, but the sound quality sucks. Urgh... stupid video. Anyway, it's from St John's Passion by Bach. This version is conducted by John Eliot Gardiner, a world-known conductor. Yeah... It's sung in German (with Eng subtitles)... and it's good :) So anyway, enjoy it!



Omg we're gonna sing this song next D: we haven't even started practicing this yet. It's from one of Bach's many Cantatas. Cantata 105 to be exact. Also sung in German:



We are also singing the 3rd part of Dixit Dominus by Handel (the composer who composed the famous Hallelujah song) No vid sorry, but that's the link to it. No imbedding allowed by the person heh :S The intro are the 4 soloists, which is then joined by the whole choir...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axW9pmJMhPs

Baby Steps - by Jared Ho

day 1.....you are brought into this world
week 1.....you are loved so deep
month 1.....you learn new things
year one....you take your first leap

your first leap is when you start to crawl
discovering whatever is between the walls,
of your house you start to learn
you start to hear when your mother calls

about a month later you start to walk
you learn to adapt to what your parents do
but you are not so sure and still naive
whatever they say you dont have a clue

three years have passed since you first walked
you now already learnt how to talk abit
you say small words that are not so coherant
but you talk all you want and as you see fit

now you are 13 and you are going through puberty
you start to infatuate and feel
love is still of course
something new to you

you are 15 now and you lust after someone
you have this crush that you think it is just
you wanna get closer and closer to her
but still to have self control you must

you are 16 now and it is a critical year
you stop doing immature and stupid things
but you start dating this girl, fortunately for you,
she is the girl of your dreams.

you are 24 and 8 years have passed,
things start getting serious and time moves fast
you slowly have a stable job
you work really hard before you start to rust

you are 30 now and are getting married
shockingly, you do not get cold feet
but you shiver under love and excitement
and you know you can never retreat

on the night of you wedding, you consumnate your marriage
you make love because it is love you feel for each other
the next day you are greater than ever before
you look at her like she is the one you will always long for forever

you are 57 now at the edge of retirement
you think to yourself if you spent your life well
but you realise with your wife that you life had been swell

now you are on your deathbed at the age of 99 which is a rare age people live up to
tomorrow is your birthday , the day you will hit 100
but can you pull through or will you die at 99?
you start to think of something, it was your first day you remembered

you thought for it for a long time now
the strenght to live for 1 more day is strong
you know you can do it
you would not want to be proved wrong

it is a bout 11.59 pm and you think to yourself
i have always loved my wife in sickness and in health
you said to your wife to be with her was so worth it
and you died peacefully when the clock hit 12


Like, omg... Did i mention Jared is good at writing poetry? He has all these ideas... omg... This poem is the sweetest thing ever... I nearly started crying... If there's sad music in the background, I'd definitely be crying. heh... Commitment is very serious thing...

Then again, I think it's too straightforward o.o Like, using words that are too direct... hmm... It could be shortened, to be made more vague, and then to add that touch to it that makes it: WOW.

Word.

I should really stop daydreaming... Not that I do that in class... How can I daydream with people like Ish and Hernando in class? Haha... They're insane people... GOSH.

ANyway, played bball with church people last night. it was AWESOME! And Jeff LITERALLY did an ROFL. And Stephen ripped a hole in his pants... right on the crotch. LOL.

And there was this FRIGGIN PRO guy... Heard his name is Samuel o.o Dunno... but he's DAYM pro. Like, SUPER PRO. Friggin good jumper, and awesome agility, and did I mention he's friggin tall? haha, PRO.

Hmm... Gonna go to bed now... school starts again tmrw... AGH. Time for more classes =.= I can't wait for Friday already... GOSH.

Closer

So... I'm gonna go play bball tonight. OH SHIT I just remembered about my English essay omg... Totally had forgotten about it. Okay. Nvm. Shall finish it TONIGHT!! @_@ Hopefully in the next hour.

Next Saturday, gonna go East Coast with youth group... Some are gonna cycle, I'm definitely gonna go roller blade. Hahaha... The only wheels I'm good at is roller blading... Yes I know that sucks.

UMM... So... Met Jos last night and this morning... It was for a lecture at The Alexcier... "The Principles of Christian Counseling" by Professor Matthew Ebenezer. Yeah :) It was gooooood. Haha

Anyhoo... Mini TOK Week is OVER!! YEAH. No more lectures, and I get my morning frees BACK! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Then I don't have to wake up so early anymore XD WEEHOOOO! I'm not gonna complain about the religious speakers on Wednesday... Coz even though some are an embarrassment to my own religion, I can simply say, they're Catholic, they're Singaporean, and their arrogant. And also, they didn't stick to the rules: NO EVANGELIZING YOUR OWN RELIGION. It's supposed to be a lecture dammit, not a preaching session. You idiots give Christians a BAD NAME.

Anyway....................... Heard quite a number of girls from STC are goin to CJC... OMG WTH MAN... WHY THAT SCHOOL. It's so amusing when you think about it. In Sec 1 - Sec 4, they say not to go to CJC... Coz it it practically a mix of SJI and STC people... And coz it has quite high abortion rates... *cough cough*... But when they get their results, suddenly everyone is applying to CJC... what in the world happened?... Okay I get it if they didn't do so well, and would only get into CJC because of the affiliation... But what about those who CAN go to other schools? Come ON.

Sigh... nevermind...

Cosplay again....

The next AFA, and maybe EOY, I'm gonna go as Akaito... It's the dude on the right with the red hair.

Yes I know... I'm gonna be cross-dressing as a guy... Forgot who Sharley is gonna go as though *shrugs* Who wants to go as Kaito? He's the dude with the blue hair below



pretty easy person to go as... just gotta find the blazer, contacts, wig, tie, and make the headpiece... Yeah... that's about it :P

Awake

With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.

And you're lying real still,
but your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
that's three that have passed, one more's fine.

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival.

And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near.

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

Say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. So I know it's true.
You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say. So just say,

That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

TV, SCREW HOMEWORK

Dang... I have like, 4 essays to write, which are due next next week... But there are so much nicer movies on tv muahahahahhaa...

CHUCK THE HOMEWORK TO ONE SIDE. AND HELLO TO MOVIES! :P

Lalala... I'm watching Evolution now... I NEVER GET SICK OF THAT MOVIE. I'VE PROBABLY WATCHED IT 10 TIMES ALREADY MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD I LOOOOOOOVE IT HEEHEE

I love that movie... ARGH. hahaha

For you all :)

And they want us to grow up
We don't want to get a job
We all need a decent rock
Where it's all Kicking off

Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
You don't need to call it off
Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
It's Only Us

We just stopped for cheaper thrills
Since the price went up on pills
From Stoke-On-Trent to Beverley Hills

We know it's all Kicking off
Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
You don't need to call it off
Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
It's Only Us
It's Only Us

Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
You don't need to call it off
Baby it's alright Baby it's alright
It's Only Us
It's Only Us

- Robbie Williams's "It's Only Us".

Judgement Day

So today, the O level results were out... There were joys, there were tears, but I wasn't there to witness it.

Was also consoling and talkin to Hernando today... pity that boy... Seemed like a painful breakup he went through... SIGH...

And now, Singapore students are gonna apply to their Junior Colleges... WHO IS APPLYING TO ACJC TELL ME!!! :P

Oh yea, I realised something... I don't think a lot of people blog in UWC... Like, so far, I haven't heard of anyone who blogs... I only hear about facebook... hahaha

Maybe I could start the blogging trend? :P

End of Break

"Making out in my dreams... omG."

< So, today is Friday... heh.... And then it's the last weekend before my school starts :( BOO.

SIGH. Gonna do some last minute editing during the weekend for my english presentation *gulp*

Time to start reading the 2 new books I got. Both by Jonathan Safran Foer. Wheee :D Gonna start with Everything is Illuminated, then Eating Animals. Heehee :D

I WANNA WATCH DAYBREAKERS!! Hopefully, it's gonna be better than the vampire chick flick that most girls are crazy about.... *cough cough twilight cough cough* even though it has that piece of "sexy man meat" in the latest one. ROFLMAO.

Oh crap, my bro wants me to play PS3 with him... EEEE. Not those dup shooting games omg @_@

Oh yea, last night, I had a dream that I bought a white wig, DAMN COOL OKAY. And I asked the person to cut it for me and stuff. REALLY COOL. And I was like, planning for another cosplay event... Then I woke up and I was like,"DAMN IT. THAT WAS A DREAM. I gotta get the wig :( NOOOOOO *goes back to sleep*" haha

And then... Keith asked me whether I wanted to go for the SOY Cosplay event on the 30th of Jan... NAH. Told him I'll pass this one... Maybe next EOY haha... I think I'll dress up as Zero the next time. And I'll BUY the costume.

First of all, I gotta solve the color stain problem on Sharley's kimono. Yikes.

Just posting

I don't know what I'm writing for this post coz I have no idea what to write.

But I just WANT to post... You guys ever had that feeling?

GAH.

Nathan came back from Washington yesterday. Wooo He just played this really complex and complicated piano piece on my piano @_@ Him, my bro, my sis, and I, are going to eat at this Indian restaurant at Tanglin Shopping Centre later... Wheeee :D

Now my bro went to change. My sis and Nathan chatting. And I'm sitting here posting on my laptop. Lalala...

BBQ with the STC girls at Anchorage tonight :D heehee
Gonna play with water balloons! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay... I have no idea what else to write here. Heh. Post again later tonight maybe :)

Pretty toes

Went for a pedicure today with my mum and sis. First time! haha :P

I got silver for mine. I'd want blood red or black, but my mum thinks they make me old =.= I'm young so I gotta get bright colours. Hence, SILVER.

Ain't gonna take pics of them coz it' just weird don't you think? To flash your toes in a blog for the whole wide world to see o.o

ANYHOO...

I have not started on my English presentation yet. SHIT. I'm SO EFFING DEAD. Stupid thesis =.= ARGH. PEOPLE DO NOT TAKE LITERATURE IN JC UNLESS YOU'RE FRIGGIN SURE YOU'LL LOVE IT.

Hmm... goin for a bbq dinner with the STC girls at TW's place... lalala... I hope my new pretty nails don't get ruined :P

2010 - A new door opens

Last night was pretty crazy. Was laughing so hard from how Ivan and my sis were starting to not make sense of what they were saying. lol

And even though I drank some, I wasn't turning red (NOT GOOD. Means I'm NOT HEALTHY).

12.5% alcohol wooooo... But red wine is good haha

Didn't bother counting down either...

Well, as a new door opens, more troubles and successes are to come. Good luck everyone!