What I Want From...

I want...

You know what, I'll make my own private list. the next time a guy comes by, ... *check... check... hmm... not present... no... check... hmm, did he do that?... maybe not... check... check... no... no... check... no...*

Being perfectionist me, I'll grade. I jsut gotta think of criterias...shouldn't be so hard right?

Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever

(chorus)
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all The times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh can't you see it baby,
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

I wonder how we can survive, this romance
But in the end if I'm with you, I'll take the chance

Oh you can't see it baby
You've got me going crazy

(chorus)

I'll Be Right Here Waiting For You - Bryan Adams

Movie

Alright... it's been a while since I watched a decent movie in the cinema. The last time I did, I got into trouble o.o

Nvm. Uhhh.... Gonna watch The Day The Earth Stood Still with my mum afterwards.. at 4.25pm. GV Grand... GOLD CLASS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA XD Bloody expensive tickets =.= They suck your wallets dry.

Hmm... with my fringe parting in the middle, wearing my glasses, I look like a dork. Gonna go make it wet... hahaha. See ya people

Not Again

Sometimes, I feel so stupid I wanna whack myself.

I'm sorry bout last night... If it meant anything to you. But I would also have appreciated it if you had told me then to just shut up. Maybe I'd know you cared... you know? Sometimes I just get so carried away in my own world I don't care about others anymore.

Selfish me.

And, I shouldn't be the one to wait for you. But you should wait for me. Till... I'm ready I guess? Like Dea, dude, it just doesn't make sense for a girl to wait for a guy... even though that was what I did with Xander. Waited for 3 years. 3 painful years, wondering and waiting. Guys came and went. And even then, he was STILL on my mind. Oh gosh. And when the chance came in February, I didn't take it. Any why? I WAS SO DARN STUPID. Me and my stupid PITY PITY PITY. URGH.

How did I know Xander would have changed his mind? Reading back the the Chat Log of February 2008 with him, I wondered... whether he truly has? But nvm. I shouldn't bring it up again... Now he actually scares me o.o AND WHY?!?!?! I HAVE NO IDEA?!?!

*smacks own forhead... buries face in hands*

I feel like crying. But that'll be stupid if I do =.= Crying over a matter like this. I push people. It's something I do... even unconsciously. I did that to.... I dunno. A few guys. And sometimes, even if I know I'm gonna be in a dilemma afterwards, I STILL do it. What am I tryin to do? Prove myself something??? Maybe someone who knows me better than myself can tell me.

And... I just fear. Fear that another part of me will get ripped out again. You know, I realise something. The relationship always ends around... May... June... July... that kind of time. WHY? Urgh. Orange boy (no idea why I jsut came up with that. prolly coz his surname is kinda obvious to a lot of ppl), left me in June for another girl. Yeah... and I THINK he regrets it now... Tofu, left me near the end of May. Dunno for what... it was never made clear.

And since... it's our Os next year. Would you leave me for your studies? I have a feeling you will... I mean, seeing how much you take your studies seriously... unlike me. TOTAL SLACKER. And yes, you probably know me better than tofu or Xander or Orange boy or Durian... Then you should probably know what I'm going through... or maybe not? *blank face... thinks...*

*moments of silence*

But maybe... Prove to me that I can have nothing to fear or worry about when it comes to you...

Obsession Possession

Okay... so maybe my sudden obsession with Hippos mean something?

Last night, I was hugging my green hippo to sleep... caressing it's head, that I thought... and thought and thought.

My gosh. I felt like a maniac for a minute there. Like... the super stalkerish type... you know? Those kind of people who have an obsession over sth, and they'll have that blank expression on their face as they caress sth... probably a cat or sth.

*shivers*

Creepy...

I came to a conclusion before I fell asleep... I probably cared for you much more than I thought. But it's also probably a one-time thing. So yeah... I'll just sit here and wait till it disappears. *swings feet*

But if it doesn't... then who knows... maybe someday................

omg. I just sounded like Xander o.o

The Day

WOOOO. Today, is the day of the Gospel Rally. RRRRAAAAHHHH!! (copying Phoebe here :P)

Lol. Well, I'm gonna leave in awhile... LA DEEDUM.

Crush - David Archuleta
I hung up
The phone tonight
Something happened
For the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush
What a rush
'Cause the possibility
That you would ever
Feel the same way
About me
It's just too much
Just too much
Why do I keep running
From the truth
All I ever think
About is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this can go
Am I crazy
Or falling in love
Is it really
Just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way you do
'Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Has it ever crossed
Your mind
When were hangin'
Spending time girl
Are we just friends
Is there more
Is there more
See it's a chance
We've gotta take
Cause I believe
That we can
Make this into
Something
That will last
Last forever
Forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy
Or falling in love
Is it really just
Another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way you do
'Cause I'm trying,trying to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away
Goin' away

Why do I keep running
From the truth
All I ever think
About is you
You got me hypnotized
So mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this can go
Am I crazy
Or falling in love
Is it really just
Another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way you do
'Cause I'm trying, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush
Ain't goin' away
Goin' away
Goin' away

No Words

I dunno what to say. I absolutely understand.

And I really gotta stop doing that to people!! URGH. *slaps my own face*

Dang it. And sometimes, I don't even know I'm doing it...you know?

You're just such a close friend... I feel like I can tell you anything...... *thinks about that word*... uhh... should be appropriate...

Yeah... And you think I've gotten over it? You're still in mine too. Like, trying hard to burst out like a balloon... Okay... I don't think that matches

You probably feel that way coz what I told you of Xander? I'm sorry. Just know. I don't like guys mostly because of their looks. I look at other components as well. (I just sounded like a judge or sth =.=) Xander is perfect in ALMOST every way. There are 2 parts of him I just dislike. You're better than him when it comes to those parts :) He "wins" you in 3. Maybe you know... maybe you don't. Let me give you a clue, you should CLIMB STAIRS and reduce it to 2. Hhaahaha

Okay. sry bout that. I shouldn't be laughing =.= You know another component. The other component, I'm tryin to help you. Lol. Definitely gotta change style. But, climb stairs first. Hahaha. Then easier to match :)

But also, maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist myself. I probably have accepted what you are. But I just wanna make it even better... Of maybe I'm just fearful? You should know of who... she's sitting right next to me o.o

I have no words of how I feel. It's a mixture of those nice feelings, yet, kinda worried, fearful, anxious, paranoid. Maybe I just fear you'll be like the previous. And I admit, he DID tear out a chunk out of me.

Christmas Gospel Rally 2008

It's free admission. so you all don't have to worry about money. And it's next to Dover MRT. REALLY simple to get there. Convention Centre is next to the station! So yeah... AND I'M SINGING WITH MY CHURCH CHOIR!!
If you don't wanna go, at leas to go watch me!!! Wahahaha... okay okay... Gotta keep my Ego down. lol :P

I hope to see some of you guys there ^^

Lost Pictures

Okay, I'm gonna upload some pics that I've never uploaded... some for months, and some for weeks... or days. you get the idea. So yeah...

QPS 6A 2005 gathering at my hosue. I forgot whether I posted this up... haha. This is Niger. THE JOKER THAT EVERYONE LOVES. Hahaha. I love his tee. My gosh. "I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up." Lol XD

This was during the Gospel Rally at the Indoor Stadium in September. And this was during the Children's Gospel Rally. Lol. 2 pics joined together. Ci Leoni speaking to introduce us. And then my church's children's choir on the right picture. See me? lol. THE TALLEST YOU KNOW. Well, Amadea, Jack and I were their special addition :P To make the kids sound... more in tune. LOL

Playing pinball during the work attachment. Hahaha. It was the last day! And there was nothing to do... Just', WY and I took turns playing. Dang. WY is GOOD.

Me... watching from the sidelines as Wing Yi steals it. lol... We really had nothing to do. Hahaha

I downloaded this program into my iPod Touch. And I can do this to pictures!! :D Like... some kaleidoscope thingy...

There was this metallic heart in New York... I posted this picture somewhere before...

THE HIPPOS I BOUGHT AT TAKA WITH MY MUM! HWAHAHAHAA. This is my christmas present form her ^^ WOO

One of the christmas decorations down at Orchard.

I watched Red Cliff just now... I only realized this morning that someone in my family bought the dvd. Hahaha. So... was watching it during lunch :) YAWN. So bored. I actually got bored of Audi after playing that for an hour. Sigh... I WANT GUILD WARS FOR A CHANGE 0.0

Pay It Forward

"Pay It Forward" Is a VERY VERY good and meaningful story. Like, if only this world was willing to do all this, this world would truly be a much better place. The movie stars Haley Joel Osment and some other few people. Great ending. And it's been a long time since I watched a movie for this genre, and is as good as this.

Oh gosh. The idea is that... for example, I help 3 people. 3 people in big things in their lives. And each of those 3 people, help 3 other people, and so on. From 3, to 9, to 27... etc And boom, many people can be affected. Yeah, it wouldn't work much, and, it'll be pretty hard, but that's what happens when you "Pay it forward".

So the next time you see someone in need, don't just look away. Approach, and help. And soon, you'll see more people helping others in need. And who knows, it could jsut lead to the world.



Migo is back :) Wheeee! ^^ time to make him lose some after his holiday. lol

Christmas

Okay. I know the previous post is kinda disturbing. But I do not intend to remove it ><
I'm addicted to My Heroes Ability on Facebook. As you can see on my tagboard. Jos and I are practically fighting over whose lvl is higher. Hahaha XD

And I guess what people say is right. You don't know what you have till you lose it. So I guess, I'd better value it more when it comes back :)

Murder

I'm gonna kill her... AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Where's my Migo confidante when I need him >< RAWR .

My mum scolded me like, LOTS and LOTS and LOTS jsut because OYJ and KF were in my room. Okay... fine, KF is a guy. I understand. He SHOULDN'T be in my room. But there was another girl (OYJ) in there too... pretty safe right?

And what's with this whole... racism thing? HUH? DUDE. Like, so what if he's half Indian half Chinese? He's still one of my close friends! WE SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKE. PLUS, from the SAME CLASS IN PRI SCHOOL. HOW DARE YOU call think of his as one of those foreign workers!!! AND STOP WORRYING THAT I'LL DATE HIM OR WHATSOEVER. My taste is NOT that bad. (no offence KF).

GAH. And over this teeny thing, about bringing guys to rooms, you scolded me for like, an hour. half in public, half at home. HOW DARE YOU punch me 4 times on my head and 3 times on my arm. I PUNCH YOU BACK THEN YOU KNOW AH.

You don't even know HALF OF THE STORY ON MY SIDE. AND YOU JUST ASSUME. YOU YOU YOU and your FKING ASSUMPTIONS. These, I have endured for more than YEEEEAAAARS. EVER sicne I could REMEMBER.

You asked me,"Let me ask you. If there was NO ONE home, would you bring a guy into your room?" I SHOOK MY HEAD (NO). AND YOU STILL HIT ME!! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!

You are insane. I WISH YOU WOULD DIE. I WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER. Even living in a prison is BETTER than living at home WITH YOU. ARGH.

You sent me to choir practice. I went up to the 3rd floor and stopped outside the room. I couldn't go in. Not with my eyes suddenly overflowing with tears of anger, hate, frustration, and sadness. I told Jack to come out. When she came out, she found me next to the door, squatting and crying my eyes out. Then we walked to the toilet as I told her everything. Omg.

I was still sobbing during choir prac, which I was late for about 47 minutes when I went into the room. SIGH. But now, it's fine. nothing going on coz YOU'RE busy with the games on your iPod. TYPICAL. You said that you wouldn't let anyone come over already. For a moment there, I thought I had to cancel the party next Wednesday. I guess not.

Cursed insane woman, I hate you.

Tired

Guess what, I just reached home from a 2 and a half hour church choir practice. Today, I already had a 2-hour church choir prac at church in the afternoon before the service.

And jsut now it was a last minute notification to all of us that my pastor (Rev. Dr. Stephen Tong) wanted to conduct us from 9.30pm onwards. Oh gosh. LAST MINUTE LEH.

And he wanted us to sing all the choruses from Handel's The Messiah. GOODNESS. We already practiced for the Christmas Gospel Rally already o.o So anyhow, at about 11.50 ++, he asked how much we had left. And we still had half the book to go. OH GOSH. Lol

And he made jokes of going on till 2am XD Hahahaha. I have no problem, coz I live about 5 mins away from The Alexcier :P Hahahaha.

As Jack and I were heading out the door of the building, she said,"Wow! It's midnight! See you later!" (coz we have another practice on Monday, 8th Dec, at 7pm). Then I said,"Sure!! *hugs* See you in 19 hours! Hahaha"

Now I shall go get a good night's sleep -.- *SNOREEEEEE*

Party!

Okay... I'm thinking of having a pool party again :) On the 17th!

Date: 17th December, Wednesday
Time: 7pm - (you need to go home)
Location: My house! THE POOL. Ask me personally for my address if you need it :)

If you wanna come, TELL ME FIRST. Oh and btw, to those who came for halloween, you guys mentioned a sleepover? lol... Whose up for it? :D

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

Omg. I came across this song online as I was finding top Christmas songs for 2008 :) Hahaha. This song was written by John Coctoasten in 1950, and was performed by a 10-year-old girl called Gayla Peevey in 1953. And wow... her voice is REALLY REALLY good. And I dedicate this song to my Hippo Migo :D

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don't want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian

There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!



Oh yeah, I THINK I was called a babe by this eurasian boy in Orchard today. Gosh. I was walking with several of my friends from church. Then this GROUP of eurasian boys were sitting on this metal fence. And as I was walkin by, one shouted out something like,"black eyed babe, we've got a thing for you." Then his friend said,"where???" and the guy who shouted jerked his head at me. And they were looking at me all the way till I FULLY walked past all 5 of them. Oh gawd. CREEEEEEPYYYY MUCH.

Anyhow, I'm leaving for Indonesia again on the 29th of December. And I'll be back on the night of January 1st :)

Pig

"Glad we settled this :) I want what you want. And you gave that answer ^^ Now have fun overseas!"

Dang... I jsut woke up at 11.50am o.o I'm turning into such a pig in the holidays. You know, my mum and I are trying to solve a 960 pieced World Globe puzzle. Dang... Driving us crazy >< And I think I'm going blind. lol

It's so hard to see the details! We've got parts of every continent. China, North America, South America, Australia... Then I got a chunk of Russia. Dunno where to join that to.

Well, I'm the one whose basically doing the most work -_-

And I REALLY REALLY have to start doing my holiday homework. But it's so distracting. Hahaha. Hmm.. I guess I'll start today... After my tuition... or before it. I dunno.

Unfinished

Okay... so... Choice 1 chosen. To continue living life NORMALLY. But dang it. Why am I still not settled??? Gaaahhh...

How I wished you chose No.2 Okay, you see, this is one of my problems. I can't be settled when something feels unfinished (another reason why I should take O lvls even if I get into UWC).

When I first suspected... It was... a few weeks ago? But I just thought you were being super nice... But I guess I was right. SIGH. And guess what, big bang on Saturday night. And the final explosion yesterday. My head was spinning...

And I just kept asking myself, what do I feel? In the beginning, I was very very sure that you were jsut a really close friend to me. The closest guy friend I've had... And, even tofu-boy wasn't that close. But... after you told me why, I jsut melted into a pile of goop.

Dang... I'm so vulnerable. You said that he weren't very good with words. But come on. They were good enough to make every girl's heart melt away (trust me). And, well, I wanted to have the same feelings... but I just couldn't.

On Sunday, Dea told me,"aiyah, you just don't like him coz he's ugly right? If he's "Xander" you surely say yes right?" The said that first thing that popped to my head,"yes". Omg... After how many times I told myself that looks don't matter, and how much I hate people who contradict themselves... I'm becoming what I hate. omg

Tofu-boy, you are really gonna laugh in my face now aren't you.

And I woke up at like, 6am in the morning... And I planned this whole post out in my head for half an hour before I went to the toilet... then got a drink, and I still couldn't sleep, coz I kept thinking about this. And why? I have no idea. But maybe you know it better than I do.

Dang.

Blurness

Okay... maybe I should start doin my homework... you know, to get my brain working again. If I touch it, it feels cool... I miss the warmth of school stress. Coz at least then, I can make decissions in less than 5 minutes... but probably that's why I used to regret them... okay... so maybe this is good.

Yeah, everyone I've looked to tell me almost the same thing. Accept it. But... accept what? There is nothing to decide on. Just a dead end. Do I turn back and pretend nothing had happened, that nothing was said? Or, do I bring this further?

omg... I really gotta think like Xander (a nickname for someone. he doesn't even know I'm calling him this).

Choice 1: Pretend nothing ever happened. Everyone is happy and stays the same
Choice 2: Say what I feel... whether the same or not (I don't even know what I feel!! My gosh. My brain has turned into mush... up to a degree that I can't understand myself anymore)
Choice 3(if choice 2 was that I felt the same): B.G.R????? MY mum would kill me if this happens and she finds out... she'll ask the guy to marry me. So let this be a warning to guys who dare to risk facing my mum. goodness.

I'm so blur. My brain is mushy... *squish squish* Lol... suddenly I'm getting amused o.o

Speechless

I guess I can say I've been expecting it... but so far, I've never been this speechless...

PICTURES (cont'd)

oops, I uploaded some pictures of yours truly in friendster too :)
www.friendster.com/lovelytaidy

PICTURES

www.flickr.com/lovelytaidy
I uploaded most of the scenic photos there... Yeah. And I sort of used up the 100MB permit for this month -_- SIGH. So I can't uplaod anymore. GGAAAHH.

Beijing airport :)

Beijing International School... is... FREAKIN HUGE!!!
With an Arts Theatre. And a rock-climbing thing in the gym, 1 indoor basketball court, and an out-door one. And a soccer+rugby+football field outside. And an indoor-pool 0.0

Cable-"bench" ride to the Great Wall :) That's my dad's friend in front, and my dad next to him on the right. My dad was so scared, he didn't dare to turn around... Fear of heights XD My mum and I were like, shouting at him to turn around and help us take a picture, but he wouldn't budge. So his friend had to do it for us :P
Then my dad, his friend(Ricky), and I took this slide thing down the mountain/hill thing. SUPER FUN!! WOOOOO!!!! Check out the other pics from flickr.

Remember this? :) Bird's Nest Stadium!! :D I didn't go in though. Too lazy, too cold, too tired :P

Temple of Heaven with my parents :)

MAO MAO MAO!!!
Inside the Forbidden City! You get the idea. I took too many pics in this place. Dang. Check out the others from flickr.

Taking pics at the Summer Palace. It's 4 times the size of the Forbidden City. See the rest from flickr.
This ship is made out of JADE. EVERYTHING. But they don't sail it out. Just used for tea and stuff

Went to Shanghai's New International Expo hall thingy for the heavy machinery exhibition every 2 years. This is the 1st time I'm here ^^ Magnificent. About 80% of the world's heavy machine companies come to Shanghai every 2 years to exhibit their products. My dad works as a distributer, so he was meeting some people :)

LOVE THIS FAST FOOD!! WOOOO. Their symbol is Bruce Lee, the best martial artist XD And their food is like, non-fried. So it's pretty healhty :)
LOOK AT THE STEAMED EGG!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA *DROOLS*

Me... after a day of walking like... A LOT. Then stopping to eat ZHEN GONG FU!! WOOOO!! I finished EVERY SINGLE THING on the plate. The sauce, soup, rice, chicken... WAHAHAHAHA XD

I got sketched at Xi Hu!! WOOOO! And this guy's REALLY REALLY good XD And he's deaf. So you either gotta let him guess what you're saying, or you write down on a piece of paper. He does clay figurines of a person's head too! :D
This is a father and son I saw on my way back from Xi Hu... Or Xi Lake if you don't get Mandarin. So yeah. This was on the boat, and they were sitting opposite me. Typical Chinese family form the villages or poorer towns.
Take a CLOSE look at the last 2 fingers of this kid. They're joined together... and it's the same case for both hands... dang... I pity him :(

You know, I was taking the Subway to this place for dinner. And man, the train REALLY resembles the one in S'pore. Same seats too. I'm not surprised if the person who designed the trains in S'pore is from China. Oh yeah, the outer colours are also black, red, and white 0.o

See my black knee-high boots? WAHAHAHAHAHA XD

Drooooool at the chocolate cake XD

Well, I'm done for this post :) I'll TRY to post the rest of the scenic photos on flickr!